Fleeting, Pointless Aphorism #1 – My Hopped Up Starbucks ‘barista’

The ‘barista’ at the Starbucks where I am loitering reminds me of Hammy, the squirrel from the animated children’s movie Over the Hedge. Hammy, voiced by Steve Carell is a squirrel who has the energy of seven men on methamphetamines, just like the ‘barista’ here. She’s bouncing around the store, mopping, wiping, talking really fast to confused-looking clients, and taking orders from the drive-thru. She was gesturing to me for a time, but I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. I knew she was speaking English but my brain was unable to decipher her high-pitched, up-talking machine-gun discourse. She was like an auctioneer who’d just freebased cocaine. Eventually, I realized she was trying to tell me my Americano was ready and wanted to know if I wanted room for cream. Yes, I said. Yes. I. Do.

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